BOIZ

Jake

This is Jake. I think we were on a football team together before we met in Middle School. He’s got a big rear and knows how to fill a pair khakis. I once made a slop in his toilet and left for Poland, didn’t see him for 3 months, and he still is my friend.

Jose

This is other Jose. I am not very good at making friends with other named people. This Jose is Mexican. My mom thinks we look like twins which means the cataract definitely got to her eye.

He really likes Curb Your Enthusiasm and I really like Seinfeld. He’s new testament and I’m old testament. Ask us about our religion, Seintology.

Jose

This is Jose. This guy right here knows entertainment and making sure his boiz are happy. Jose is always watching out for your best interests, he’s like your parents but Dominican (unless your parents are Dominican then I don’t know what to tell you). You can take him to a five star steakhouse and he’ll order the 10 dollar chili-cheeseburger every time.

Buzz

Okay so this isn’t an actual photo of him but honestly, when Jose drew this in the 3rd grade, he may have been onto something. This guy is freakin’ smart sharing articles about nano this and AI that. I’m starting to believe he is a computer and trying to express that he is sentient.